Fated to be together
by angelic countenance
Summary: Prince Eriol meets lady Sakura by chance and falls in love with her. However, another unexpected visitor from China will change the fate of everyone forever… SS, ET, a little of ES, pls RR! ...discontinued
1. Default Chapter

Fated to be together  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own "Cardcaptor Sakura" and  
this story is completely original. Any resemblance to any  
story is pure coincidence, so please don't sue or flame me.  
  
Summary: Prince Eriol meets lady Sakura by chance and falls in love with her. However, another unexpected visitor from China will change the fate of everyone forever. S+S, E+T, a little of E+S, this is my first fanfiction, so I'll greatly appreciate it if you read and review! =)  
  
Characters: Sakura ---daughter of the esteemed baron Fujitaka  
  
Tomoyo ---Sakura's cousin and best friend, also a baroness  
  
Eriol---Prince of Japan  
  
Syaoran---future leader of the influential Li Clan in China I'll add in other characters from time to time, but these are the four main characters  
  
General setting: sometime during the elizabeth period(knights and stuff like that)  
  
Italics Character's thoughts  
  
(Brackets) notes from the writer (me!)  
  
"speech bubbles" conversations  
  
---place--- setting of the scene  
  
Chapter 1 : A chance meeting  
  
---In a carriage headed for the capital city--------------------- ---------------------  
  
I shouldn't have been away from the palace so long. Please, mother, hold on until I get there.  
  
Eriol was dressed in his finest doublet and hose, and with a worried frown, recalled the events of the the past week. He had been attending a function at the university he was attending in London when a speeded envoy had rushed in and broke the terrible news that his mother had taken ill and was on her deathbed. He had been so aggrieved by the news that he had immediately booked the first passage to Japan, and they had been rushing day and night with hardly any rest for the prince so that he could reach the palace as quickly as possible.  
  
To think of his beloved mother suffering and wasting away while he was trying his best to reach her was almost too much fot the gentle prince to bear, and silent tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes when he thought of her laughing smile, the care and concern that she had lavished on him since young. He had missed her warmth and cheer, and to think that he might never see her alive again.He brusquely brushed his tears away, sweeping his fears aside. He must not cry now. His mother needed him. Looking out the window, his eyes were drawn to a flowerstop tucked in the corner of the street. Struck by a sudden impulse, he signaled the carriage to stop and moved towards the shop.  
  
Entering the cool interior, he was greeted with a fresh smell of flowers and by the beautiful sight of delicate blossoms swaying gently in the breeze from the window. Bending down slightly to free a single crimson rose from its vase, he breathed in a deep breath of its familiar fragrance, a scent that always lingered in his mother's bedroom, and smiled gently as he thought of how much his mother had loved these blossoms.  
  
Looking up, he was surprised to meet a pair of beautiful emerald eyes looking at him with something akin to curiosity, obviously not recognising the prince. He was momentarily stunned by the beauty of this angel before him: shoulder-length auburn hair softly framed a flawless face set with the most enchanting emerald eyes he had ever known. Her soft smile seemed to illuminate the entire room with its radiance, chasing away the gloomy cobwebs in his heart momentarily Her eyes were easily the most striking feature that captured his attention, for the vibrancy and openness he saw in them caught at his heart. She seemed to radiate an aura of warmth and friendliness, something he had sorely missed in his sojourn in London.Why do I feel as if I've known her all my life?  
  
"How much does this bundle of roses cost?" He asked the lady, mistaking her for the flower clerk. Her answering laughter was like the sweet chiming of bells.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry you're mistaken. The flower clerk has just gone inside to help me get some new stock of ribbons. You see, I'm just a customer here." Her sweet melodious voice was friendly and even open, and immediately put him at ease. The flower clerk bustled in with a small handful of assorted ribbons.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry I made you wait. Were you enquiring about the price of the roses? They're a silver pence each. "  
  
Turning back to the lady, she handed her a few coloured ribbons to choose. Eriol smiled.  
  
The green ribbons would set off her luminous emerald eyes beautifully.  
  
The lady carefully paid for an assortment of ribbons, ranging from the light blue to the cheerful yellow. She hesitated when reaching for the green ribbon, as if remembering something, but left it alone on the table and paid for the rest in her hands.  
  
Before Prince Eriol could ask her name, she swept him a polite curtsy and smiled cheerily at him before stepping out of the shop. With a start, Prince Eriol came to his senses and hurriedly paid for the roses, and almost as an afterthought, bought the green ribbon and another navy blue one from the startled flower clerk. He scanned the street for her when he stepped out, but there was no sign of the beautiful lady he had just seen. He climbed back into his carriage and rushed back to the palace, preoccupied, the scent of roses slowly filling the carriage.  
  
---In the palace------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------  
  
He knelt by the bedside, gazing with barely concealed pain at the look of suffering on his mother's face. She was so pale now, with deep sunken eyes a mere shadow of her former cheerful self. She seemed so frail, so weak. It hurt him to see her like that, so listless, so different from the person she once was.  
  
"Eriol.."  
  
" Yes mother, I am here at last."  
  
"I've been waiting for you.it's been such a long time since I've taken a good look at you.How much you have grown.I am so proud of you.so very proud of you."  
  
" Mother, say no more, rest for now. You will get better soon. I promise."  
  
He openly wept as he watched his mother trying to breathe labouriouly. Even if he had to employ the best physicians from all other countries, he would make sure that she would get well. She must!  
  
" Eriol, listen to me. You must find a wife and take over the reins of leadership from your father soon.We are both getting on in years and you are not getting any younger.Promise me that you would love and cherish her.That was my mistake. Promise me, Eriol. Promise me..."  
  
"I promise, mother. Please, try to hang on for father and I until we find a way to cure you. Please mother!"  
  
The tears were now falling profusely from his cheeks, but he didn't care. His voice broke as he begged his mother to hold on. He could not bear to lose her now, not now.  
  
---In Prince Eriol's room---------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Worn out by his emotions, he was surprised to see his father sitting on his bed when he opened the door. As his father's aggrieved face rose to meet his eyes, Eriol was shocked to see how much his father had aged so much in his brief years of absence from court. His once dark locks were snowy white now, and wrinkles adorned his once youthful face, as if time had chiseled lines of worry and burdens onto his face. His once vibrant eyes were sorrowing and hurt, and it was evident that he had taken the news of his mother's illness very hard.  
  
"Eriol, your mother and I have decided to hold a ball in the honour of your birthday, and we want you to choose your future bride from the ladies who are invited. The invitations have already been sent out to all the eligible ladies as well as the princesses in the neighbouring countries, so prepare yourself for the ball on the morrow."  
  
He was too tired to argue. He had always known that his would be an arranged marriage, its main purpose to strengthen the countries ties with another for stability and peace in the country. There was a time, when he was 14 or so, when he had tried to rebel against this unfair act, wanting to have the freedom to choose his bride and to choose the way he lived his life. His mother could only looked on helplessly as his furious father taught him just what he thought of his son's disobedience, and it was only to save his parents any more heartbreak that he accepted his fate.  
  
He was trapped, his responsibilities as a prince and heir to the throne dictating his every action and his every word, his thoughts and feelings were not allowed to interfere. His mother's words echoed in his mind: "Promise me that you would love her.That was my mistake."  
  
He knew what she meant. Theirs had been an arranged marriage and she had not shared his father's feelings for her, living in silent misery all those years.She had loved another before the king, and had been forced to part from her fiance to marry the king. She had been the faithful wife and caring queen, but there had always been a quiet sadness about her, as if there was something she had lost and never regained. The king was a kind and caring person, but.their parents had arranged the marriage and there was nothing they could do. She could only watch as her fiance married another, settled down and had children.  
  
He broke out of his reverie and nodded curtly to his father, inevitably sealing his own fate. That night, he lay atop his bed looking at the stars outside his window, his late thoughts before he slept were about a certain green-eyed girl.  
  
---In the Kinomoto mansion--------------------------------------- ------  
  
"Tomoyo, do you know anyone with dark blue hair?" Sakura asked her cousin curiously. "A very attractive guy with the darkest blue eyes I've ever seen."  
  
Tomoyo looked at her cousin in surprise. This was so out of character for the girl, for this was perhaps the first (or second) time Sakura had ever asked about a guy. Besides that little serious boy she had played with when she was very young, that is. Tomoyo smiled to herself.  
  
"Hmm.I don't think I know any guys with blue eyes.I'll tell you when I find anyone though. Why did you ask?" Tomoyo asked Sakura archly.  
  
"Oh, I just happened to meet him in the flowershop."And there was something about him I found really familiar.Sakura shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, but as usual, Tomoyo saw through her act.  
  
"What's bothering you, Sakura? Don't try to hide it from me, we don't keep any secrets between each other." Tomoyo gave her a worried look. It really wasn't like Sakura to start mooning over a strange guy she had seen.  
  
"There was. something about him.Oh, never mind. Tomoyo, will you accompany me to the temple tomorrow? I really don't feel so well, I was hoping that maybe a bit of praying might help. Anyway, we'll have to attend that ball tomorrow night anyway, so we'd better go in the morning."  
  
Tomoyo agreed, and casting a worried look at her cousin, she allowed herself to be shooed out of Sakura's bedroom.  
  
Why does he seem so familiar.Sakura soon feel asleep, as usual, dreaming of a serious little boy with chestnut brown eyes and another vague figure of a certain blue-eyed boy on a white horse.  
  
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So how's it? Pls read and review! I love reviews! Second chapter expected to be up soon, so pls give me comments on how I should improve on this fanfic! =)  
  
Don't worry, syaoran's going to appear in the next chapter. What's going to happen at the temple? Pls stay "tuned" for the next chapter! ---fallen-angel 


	2. Chapter 2: Memories and a chance encount...

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own "Cardcaptor Sakura" and this story is completely original. Any resemblance to any story is pure coincidence, so please don't sue or flame me.

Many thanks all who've reviewed and followed my story so far…oh, and my nick's no longer fallen-angel---it was "angelic countenance" because "fallen-angel" has apparently been taken---was "fallen-angel 52" by default for a while but hee---didn't like the name so much with numbers---

Sorry for the delay, school's been really hectic lately, and what with the upcoming common tests and examinations, not to mention the piles of homework I have to go through. Anyway, I'm aware that the first chapter has a lot of punctuation and other problems (especially with the italics, I just can't seem to get it to work) I'll try to correct them when I have the time, so please bear with the mistakes for the moment.

Please note: 

thoughts denotes the character's thoughts 

(name of character) denotes the person's point of view

I added the above changes when I realised that italics don't work very well on fanfiction.net, so please pardon me for the confusion over punctuation in the previous chapter…

Thanks fantasiimaker, Suppis tenshi and mArmaLadEbOyx3 for reviewing my chapter! I really appreciate it! (cheerful grin)

Thanks to sean and yuet ping for editting my work, esp. yuet ping…arigato-gozaimus~~!! *huggles you both :)

Really hope that everyone will enjoy this chapter, so please read and review!

Chapter 2: Memories and a chance encounter

(syaoran)

It was a blustery morning, and the heavens had decided to have a contest of brute strength as they shrieked and howled their hearts out, a seemingly solid wall of rain restricting visibility to a short metre in any direction. Sheltered safely out of the storm, a lone figure watched the pouring rain in silence.

"Why did mother have to send me on this trip? " Dressed in his traditional green Chinese rode, he stared pensively at the drowned world outside, thinking back on the events that had left him stranded in this temple near the capital city of Japan.

-----------A month ago, in the Li residence------------

"Syaoran, I want you to represent the Li Clan at Prince Eriol's 18th birthday ball in Tokyo, Japan. The ball will be a big event and many royalties will be there, so it will be a good opportunity to consolidate the Li Clan's position as well as be a good experience for you, as the future leader of the Clan. There is also a task that I must set for you, to clinch this important trade agreement. It is of paramount importance to the Li Clan that you accomplish this task. Do you understand?" 

I do not want to go. " But mother—"

"No buts, Syaoran. I have made my decision, and you will follow it." Her sharp tone would brook no opposition.

" I will obey, mother." He bowed mechanically and swept out of the lavish room, his mind strangely blank. He had been taught to obey his elders since young, everything he did had to be for the good of the Clan. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. It was his duty, his responsibility, his fate. Wrapped up in his reverie, he began to pack his belongings for the trip. There was nothing he could do.

------------End of flashback------------------

He turned his head back on the storm and stepped further into the comfort of the temple. He had stumbled upon this small temple late last night when he was looking for a place to rest for the night, and by pure coincidence, missed being caught up in the storm by oversleeping, something he hadn't done in ages. Well, since he was forced to delay his immediate plans to leave for the capital, he might as well make the best of this unexpected delay to practise his sword fighting skills.

Stopping by his room to collect his sword, he was about to start his training when he sensed a familiar presence in the room adjoining the practice hall. As if drawn by some unknown force against his will, he stepped into the doorway, and was struck by the image that presented itself before him.

A beautiful girl was kneeling in front of the meditation altar, her palms together, her eyes clasped prayerfully as if asking for guidance. She was dressed in a simple but breathtaking white dress, its simple cut deceiving the eye as intricate flowers flowed their way around the hem and neckline of the dress. Her face lit softly by the multitude of candles set around the room, and it may have been his imagination playing tricks on him, but it seemed that she was a fallen angel from the heavens, her composed face a picture of calm amidst the thundering of the storm outside.

There was something about her, something in the way she held herself, that seemed familiar. It was more than her presence; it was something about that angelic set of her face, something about her that tickled his memory. It was then that she opened her eyes, sensing the presence of someone in the doorway, that he finally recognised her. Her luminous eyes were of the deepest emerald he had ever seen, the innocence and sincerity that it reflected so familiar he nearly cried out her name. It was all over in a glimpse as he drew himself back against the wall. He must not let her know that he was there. Dashing swiftly down the corridor to his room, he hardly noticed the faint blush creeping up his cheeks or the luminous suggestion of tears in his eyes as he ran away from her.

"Sakura---"

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(Sakura)

"Hoe? I swear that there was somebody there." 

Just then, Tomoyo swept in carrying a tray, and set the tea set carefully on the low table set in the room. Bewildered, Sakura asked if she had seen anyone outside the door.

"I'm sorry, I just came from the kitchen so …I didn't see anyone. So do you feel better now, Sakura? Well enough to attend the ball tonight?"

" Hai. I feel a lot better now."

"And speaking of balls, Sakura, you really must wear this beautiful dress which I spent all night finishing for you. Please Sakura, you have to agree…"

Sakura laughed. Tomoyo never changed all right. Following Sakura everywhere with her sketchbook and pencil, forever sewing beautiful outfits for her ever since she had first learnt to sew, it was so like Tomoyo to spent all night finishing another dress for her. Shaking off the feeling of unease that there had been someone at the doorway, she walked out of the temple and stepped into the carriage, her thoughts now on the ball that she was going to attend tonight.

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(Eriol)

"Don't go! Don't leave us, we haven't even gone to see the cherry blossom trees that you had promised to show us!" A little girl implored, her little voice pleading with him.

I don't want to go either, but do I have a choice? 

" Don't worry! I promise I will bring you to see the cherry blossom trees the next time we meet. Pinky swear!"

She laughed as they hooked their little fingers together in the time-honoured practice, sealing his promise. As he looked back from his elevation atop his white pony, he could see three little figures fading into the distance, in particular, a little girl with windswept hair and cheerful smile waving at him, reminding him of his promise to return.

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He woke up from his dream, and seeing his lean outline in the mirror opposite his bed, he sighed wistfully. 

I never did see her again. I went back to the place she had last lived, but she had moved away. I was unable to fulfil the promise that I had made.

He stood up and dressed formally, going down to have breakfast with the court. Today would be a busy day, and goodness knows how much there was to be done before the ball.

He passed a group of court ladies dressed in their finest dresses, and bowed in response to their graceful curtseys, hardly seeing them as they walked away.

"Did you know that Prince Eriol is holding a ball tonight? Oh, I do hope to have the honour of dancing with him…" the rest of the ladies twittered in agreement. Prince Eriol was, after all, the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Japan. He was rich, famous and extraordinarily handsome and kind. What more could one ask for?

---- Tomoyo's room------------------------

(Tomoyo)

She sat at her dressing table, clad in a beautiful white dress which was the handiwork of many nights. A breathtaking dress lay on her bed, its delicate sky blue complementing the white lace and silks carefully embroidered around the hem and folds of the dress, each subtle detail sewn with utmost care. Sakura will be the most stunning girl at the ball, and I would get to draw her in my finest creation yet. Tomoyo sighed. There was nothing more satisfying to see her best friend dressed in her very own creations and shine at the ball. Privately, Tomoyo was hoping that the ball could distract Sakura from whatever was bothering her lately, for Sakura had been more and more absentminded of late, which was saying something. 

They had been best friends since infancy, her mother, Sonomi, bringing her frequently to see her little cousin. Ever since the unfortunate death of Sakura's mother at the tender age of five, Tomoyo had always watched out for Sakura, afraid that she would live her life in the shadow of the tragedy, but Sakura proved to be stronger than she had thought. It was her who had cheered Tomoyo up when she was upset, who stood up for her when she was bullied. Tomoyo had always admired the inner strength that radiated from Sakura, and vowed that no matter what happened, she would always be there for her cousin.

She tenderly touched the painting on the dressing table, one of her most prized possessions. It was one of her earliest ventures into painting, and even though the technique was simple, even childish, it evoked beautiful memories of their childhood.

----Flashback--------------------------

(Sakura's, Eriol's, Syaoran's and Tomoyo's reflections, in that order)

"Can't catch me! Can't catch me!" Her innocent, joyful laughter floated up into the cool morning air. She laughingly avoided the clumsy attempts to catch her by the serious raven-haired boy chasing her as she ran, enjoying the last days of autumn.

Her long auburn hair was golden brown in the sunlight, her eyes a perfect endless depth of emerald. Dressed in a short but charming little pink dress, she ran away giggling from the serious raven-haired boy trying to chase her through a blindfold, tracking her by her voice. She twirled around, luxuriating in the feel of autumn and in the feeling of contentment that always came when she was in the company of her friends. The sakura petals slowly drifted around her, as if the Sakura tree was trying to reach out and bless its fiery child, and twirling slowly round, Sakura danced in the gentle rain of sakura petals reaching out to embrace her.

The petals reminded her of her recently deceased mother. Nadeshiko had loved these delicate blossoms, often bringing little Sakura to sit by the tree and read stories to her as the petals fell around them. Mesmerised by the rain of pink and white blossoms embracing her, she felt acutely the same wonder and warmth that her mother had found in these self-same blossoms. She felt her mother's presence hovering close by, watching over her, and totally at peace with the world, she laughed and threw herself into the bosom of Mother Nature herself.

"Caught you!" Eriol caught Sakura unawares and pounced, landing on top of her. He whipped off his blindfold and grinned down at Sakura giggling madly in his arms. "I won fair and square, so you must also keep your promise!" Amidst mild protests that she had not been paying attention, she let down her hair and removed the pin holding her hair in the braid. Removing herself from the grass and brushing off the grass stains, she bestowed her pin onto Eriol. "So I have promised, thus is it so." She grinned, her smile lighting up the entire garden with its radiance and charm. 

He looked into her laughing eyes, struck by how she looked so enchantingly beautiful with the petals swirling around her, and gently, knelt down and kissed her hand. "I thank thee, my princess, for the gift and honour." His solemn words had almost a hypnotic effect on them, washing over the four as it whispered softly in the silence of the rustling leaves. It sounded right, as if he really was her knight and she his princess.

Syaoran looked on from his favourite perch in the wide branches of Sakura tree, absorbed in the somewhat confused yet beautiful expression on Sakura's face and entranced by the way her hair swept out to cover her face with its soft trailing strands. Smiling, he opened his hand to reveal a single flower pin clasped in his hand. It had been Sakura's favourite pin that she had dropped a few days ago, and though he knew that he ought to pass it back to her, he wanted to keep something of her as a keepsake. 

Tomoyo watched the little interlude between the two, wistfully wishing that she could somehow capture the serenity of this moment. Syaoran absorbed in watching Sakura with a gentle smile on his face, Eriol and Sakura chasing each other again under the raining petals---She hit upon an idea. Reaching for her ever-present sketchpad, she began to draw.

Each absorbed in their own thoughts, the four children were content, for now, but none of them knew what time had in store for them. Separated, yet reunited again, their fates tied together by the silken threads of destiny, there would come a time when they would meet again---

----Back to the present…---

Tomoyo sighed. The scene was so firmly etched into her memory that it were as if it had happened yesterday. Their parting had been heart wrenching, to say the least. Eriol left with his mother with the promise that he would come back, but that farewell was the last they ever saw of that cheerful and handsome, even at a young age, boy. Syaoran left for his native country, China, not long after Eriol, his parting with Sakura made worse by the fact that his mother had forbidden him to have any contact with the Kinomotos after a heated dispute with her father over a trade arrangement. Tearfully, Sakura said her good-byes to him, and clasped his hands tightly, reluctant to see him go. Holding a weeping and desolate Sakura in her arms, Tomoyo watched his retreating back as he disappeared from their lives completely. 

Now, 11 years after their parting, Sakura still lives in the faint hope that someday, she would someday see the four of them reunited again, but Tomoyo knew that it would never be the same again. They had grown up, matured since the last time that they had seen each other. Going to middle school, high school and college---Time had robbed them of 11 years of their childhood, could they ever be the same people that they were in their youth? All that remains of their friendship was a broken promise and precious few memories of them playing together. 

Perhaps it was better that they did not meet up after so many years. That way, their memories of each other would be pure and innocent. That way, they would never have to accept the fact that they had changed so much, that they were no longer the friends that they used to be. But that didn't stop her from wishing that perhaps, it would do Sakura good to see Eriol and Syaoran again, once after so many years, and put her unfulfilled hopes to rest. Perhaps it would be better for her. But it was just wishful thinking. There was no chance that they would meet up again, after so many years. It just wasn't possible. Or is it? 

Breaking out of her reverie, she turned at the sound of the doorbell. Sakura was here at last. Sweeping her thoughts aside, she made to prepare Sakura for the ball, determined to make Sakura the centre of attention tonight. It was all she could do, to be by Sakura's side and always be there for her. 

---At the ball--------------

She was stunning. Her auburn tresses flowed down her back, lightly sweeping her shoulders. An angel cast down from the very heavens to awe the people with her beauty and grace; she radiated a calm and peaceful aura that seemed to touch the hearts of everyone in the room. Her delicate dress, though modest, swept around her, its intricate designs and laces creating a beautiful harmony with the sky blue silk, the way it seemed to fit her ever so perfectly dazzling the eyes of everyone present in the room. The white ribbons trailing from the back of her dress and her sleeves swirled gracefully as she danced, her eyes full of cheer and a warm glow that held everyone in thrall. 

Tomoyo watched her friend from a corner of the ballroom, her luminous eyes never leaving the dancing figure as she painstakingly sketched out a picture of the cherry blossom on her sketchpad. She smiled to herself. She had been right after all. The ball had indeed taken Sakura's mind of things, and for a little while, she might enjoy herself. Unknown to her, there were also two other figures watching the blue-clad cherry blossom dance.

(Eriol)

She was beautiful. The other ladies in the ballroom paled in comparison, their dissatisfied expressions telling him that they too, knew that they were outclassed. Despite repeated requests to dance from the ladies in the room, he politely and ever so graciously turned them down, having only eyes for her.

That familiar feeling, those same fluid movements that he had seen somewhere before, he was positive that he knew her. But where--- He closed his eyes and almost immediately, an image of a little emerald-eyed girl appeared in front of him, showing off her dance routines and laughingly pulling him to join her. Together, amidst startled exclamations as they tripped over their feet and landing in a giggling heap, they danced. Two other figures stood aside watching, and even as he watched, he saw himself falling over again and laughing with his dance partner. Yes, it was coming back to him. The same movements, the same cheerful laugh, it had to be her. He remembered.

"Sakura----"

He stepped up to the shining beauty just as the song ended and a slow waltz tune took its place. Just as she was about to retire from the floor, he extended his hand to her. "May I have the honour of this dance, my lady Sakura?" She smiled a gracious smile and took his hand.

(sakura) 

I never expected to see him again. His mesmerising eyes, I've seen them before. But I can't seem to place him anywhere. I, I know him, but from where? 

He held her hand gently as he twirled her in the familiar steps of the waltz. His gentle yet irresistibly charming smile drew her in, enclosing her in his warmth. She smiled radiantly, basking in the comfort of his gaze. 

" You know, I couldn't really catch your name the last time we met. Perhaps you would grace me with your name?" Sakura inquired gently with a laugh.

His amethyst eyes widened briefly in surprise before he laughed softly. She was so open, so charmingly without pretence that it was refreshing after talking with several of the court ladies. "Himegoto." 

Her eyes twinkled merrily as she caught the hint. "And what would I address you by if I ever saw you again?" She whispered softly, relaxing in his arms and letting her body move to the music. " Eriol--My name is Eriol-" 

Eriol---I know the sound of it, a word uttered so many times before, almost all but forgotten. Where have I heard it before? But it doesn't matter, not now--- 

Together, they danced, and the entire floor was empty except for them. The prince and his princess, both aglow with light as the glow of the full moon silently illuminated the hall through the glass ceiling above. Their synchronised movements stunned the crowd as they glided across the floor in a breathtakingly beautiful waltz, bringing tears to some of the more sentimental ladies present. 

A stone's throw away, the King watched silently as his son danced with Sakura. His eyes were filled with anguished tears of remembered happiness, memories of his happy marriage with his wife as they danced under the full moon in the garden. He saw the love in Eriol's eyes for what it was, and he was moved. Yes, she would make a good match with him. Not only was her father influential and a loyal count, she was the one whom Eriol had chosen out of all at the ball. He walked away, his head bowed, leaving the two alone in their own world, oblivious to their surroundings as they danced.

They ended their dance even as the song petered off into silence. Struck by a sudden impulse, he bowed floridly and said, "I thank thee, my princess---"

"For the gift and honour." Tomoyo finished his sentence in a near whisper. She knew. It could not be anyone else. Hearing his words so echoed in the still silence that had descended on the room, he turned and searched for the speaker of his words, but to no avail. She was gone.

Sakura stood, stunned by the little exchange that had taken place, for she knew that it was Tomoyo who had finished his sentence for him. What was more surprising was that she recognised those words, those very words uttered by the both of them. She was tired, and couldn't think properly. 

She excused herself with a graceful curtsy and left the dance floor, unable to understand the multitude of feelings and thoughts running through her mind. She had to find Tomoyo.

Looking around anxiously for her friend, she left the ballroom, Eriol's eyes following her as she stepped out of sight.

(Syaoran)

Alone in the shadows, a tousled-haired young man stood behind the pillar, the only person to witness the flight of Tomoyo. Dressed in his best suit, he turned and looked at Sakura, to the very same flustered and confused look he remembered as she rushed out of the room. His gaze was bitter and filled with unsatisfied longing as he smiled bitterly. It had to be fate that brought the four of them together like this. Turning his back abruptly on the prince standing alone in the middle of the dance floor, he left the ballroom by another exit, ignoring the throbbing pain in his heart and the sharp stinging suggestion of tears in his eyes. He had to leave as soon as he had finished his business. It was better for the others not to know of his existence. 

I'll be going back to China as soon as I clinch the deal. I promised you that I would not be with her, and I would keep my promise, so please, don't hurt her. Oka-sama…gomenasai…I couldn't forget her, even after all these years, but the least I can do is to stay out of her life, so please spare her…spare her from everything, she doesn't deserve that. 

"Sayonara, Sakura-chan---"

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So how was it? Really, really sorry for not getting this up earlier because I've been so occupied with my schoolwork lately. Hontoni-gomenasai~~~ Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter ok? I know that it's kind of messy, but I'll try to edit it or add another chapter as soon as I can, so please be patient!! Please Please Please review!!! Would really like to get more feedback on the fanfic---

Oh, the high school, middle school and college stuff was at the suggestion of yuet ping(*huggles huggles) in Singapore we have primary school, secondary school and junior college (then comes university)---so hope that helps to clear things up a little--

Erm---if I'm not mistaken, 

himegoto means secret, 

oka-sama means mother 

gomenasai means sorry

and sayonara means goodbye

---fallen-angel


	3. chapter 3 :Flashbacks…and a distant memo...

Chapter 3: Flashbacks…and a distant memory

--------------(Sakura)---------------

Eriol…I know him. His features dredged up deep from the deep recesses of my memories…Yes, that face, those beautiful eyes…I missed him, yes…but who was he? A white horse …a garden…what?

I do not know. 

----flashback---------

She was alone again, sitting in the cold, dark room. How she longed to see the daylight, but ever since that fateful night, it was as if the Sun would never shine for her ever again. Left alone with her thoughts, always so cold, always so tired…The only people she saw were the servants, passing her food for her meals and looking at her with their eyes full of pity. She rejected their pity. 

Her once shining hair was disheveled, her emerald eyes dead. It was as if there was nothing for her to live for any longer. Every night the plates of food went back to the kitchens untouched.She did not know how long she went without food, not knowing joy or hunger…For she merely existed. There was no one to tuck her in at night, no one to sing to her lullabies and tell her stories. Most of all, she missed her warmth and presence, the gentleness that was part of her. But she was gone. 

She had spent countless nights crying, but it had been no help, only bringing the hurt closer. There was this oppressive tightness around her heart, some obscure pain that just got worst every time she cried. She did not know what it was. She often awoke from her restless bouts of sleep weeping, the nightmares painfully replaying her mother's final moments over and over again, each time tearing her heart anew. No one visited her, not even her family. It seemed that everyone had forgotten her. Her father was… too absorbed in his own private grief, the invisible link that had always existed between the both of them cut off. Her brother was away, yet even from afar, she could sense his pain. Covering it all beneath a cool exterior and training himself to exhaustion…He had been the next closest to her besides her mother, and yet, both were gone so far away. For once in her whole life, Sakura was alone.

-----end of flashback----------

Stop it. 

Stop those painful memories. I hate them. Leave me alone!

Half blinded by her tears and memories, she stumbled on, past the courtiers, the red liveried soldiers…

----flashback---------

They brought the cheer back into her life. They had brought back the laughter and sparkle in her eyes…

It was just another day. She sat in her room, enclosed by four walls and staring into the distance, caught up in her own thoughts again…when the door burst open and light flooded the room.

The light was piercing, yet as its warmth reached out and surrounded her, it brought with it memories and a promise of a better day ahead. Shaken out of her reverie, she looked up, and saw the face of an angel. But why was she crying? 

She reached out slowly and softly brushed away the tears on the angel's face, and for the first time in many days, cracked a gentle smile. And the angel laughed through her tears and threw her arms around her neck.

Out of a corner of her eye, she saw a boy smiling at her seated not far away, and dimly, she could make out the outline of another boy leaning against the door with his arms folded, but he was smiling too…

And suddenly everything came back to her…memories hidden so deep, forgotten after so long…kept aside after they had gone…it all came back to her…

-----end of flashback----------

She stopped running, winded from her mad dash down the many twisting corridors. She couldn't remember how she got here, but she was here. And this was where Tomoyo was. She could feel her presence. It had always reminded her faintly of blue skies and the open sea…It was all that mattered. She was here.

"Hush…hush. It's all right now…I'm here with you. I won't let anyone hurt you again…"

A familiar voice…enveloping her in its warmth. She closed her eyes…and slept.

---------(Tomoyo)----------------

Tomoyo looked sadly at Sakura's pale face and gently cradled her head in her arms. She always knew that Sakura would be able to find her no matter where she went. Her face outlined by the light of luminous moon, she sat there under the Sakura trees as they spun trailing paths of Sakura petals in the air, lost in her own memories…

--------------(syaoran)-----------------

He strode down the corridors to the antechamber, thoughts whirling about in his head. It had been so long, and seeing Sakura again, first in the temple and next at the ball…it was more than he could have asked for. But he had to leave just as soon as he completed the trade agreement. He could not afford to stay any longer. He swept into the room and bowed before the King.

"Your Majesty." 

" I was expecting you tonight. I believe you wanted to discuss the trade agreement?"

" Yes, I think that it would be best if I could be on my way at first light tomorrow."

"Could I prevail upon you to stay a little longer? My son would have dearly wanted to meet up with you after so long. Or is the hospitality unsatisfactory in any way?"

"Of course not, your Majesty, it's just that I have something urgent to see to back in China." It wasn't technically a lie. He did have many duties to see to as the next leader of the Lee Clan. It just wasn't the only and main reason he needed to leave so soon.

Sakura…I'm sorry…

The King sighed. This would mean a long night ahead of him again.

" Then let this be settled by tonight then---what? Eriol, why aren't you at the ball! You have to see to the guests!"

Eriol had just stepped into the antechamber, his mind obviously preoccupied. At the sound of his father's voice, he looked up with a startled expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry father, I was too tired and excused myself, I didn't see where I was going and I didn't know you had an audience so late at night---"

Obviously startled, he stopped his rambling and abruptly noticed to whom his father was holding an audience with. Leaving his words half finished, he openly stared.

Oh damn. He saw me. There goes my chance of leaving unnoticed. But then, it has been so long…

Inwardly sighing, he swept Eriol a bow and greeted him.

"Your highness."

Recovering instantly, he snapped back into himself and acknowledged Syaoran's greeting.The King watched the little exchange between the two of them and smiled. Perhaps business could wait.

"I believe that the two of you have a little catching up to do. Lord Syaoran, perhaps I could prevail upon you to at least stay until mid noon tomorrow? If you so wish, I will discuss the trade proposal with you first thing in the morning."

"Of course, your Majesty."

----(His majesty leaves the room, leaving the two of them together…)--------

"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming to Japan! It has been so long since we last saw each other!" Eriol asked, his voice uncertain. It has been, after all, a very long while, and he wasn't sure how Syaoran felt about him now. Syaoran opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Seized by a kind of tight emotion as he saw his old friend staring at him so hesitantly, he had a sudden urge to try and put everything all right again. But then, was it even possible to reverse the time so many years to their childhood days and revive the open friendship that they had shared? 

"I've been…busy. Things have been really hectic in China lately…and I missed you all too…"

He couldn't help adding the last part, nor could he keep the emotion from his voice. He had missed them terribly when he returned to China, that was a fact, and one he could not deny no matter how he tried. No matter how hard he tried to forget.

"Syaoran…do you know how long I searched for the three of you? So many years…and now you are here again. Do you really have to leave so soon? Please, will you stay for at least a while longer? We have so much to catch up…"

" …and I would dearly love to, but I really have things to see to in China. I guess I can postpone my trip back to China for a week….but that's about all…How's everyone been?"

"I wish I knew…I only saw Sakura for the first time in many years today, in a flower shop, and later at the ball… At least I know where to find her now, at the Kinomoto residence...All this time and I didn't know where she went to...that was because I only knew her by her first name…Syaoran, you must be tired. Let me lead you to your rooms."

It's as if we were strangers…strangers who know so much about each other, and yet nothing. Walking shoulder to shoulder, the pair strolled through the corridors, telling each other about the many things and experiences they've had over the years. But not a word was further said about the old times they had shared together. It was as if they both felt that by saying out loud the unseen awkwardness and formality that separated them like a wall now, that would make the barrier more real than ever.

---------(outside)------------

Meanwhile, Tomoyo was helping a sleeping Sakura into a carriage.

"To the Kinomoto residence, please."

I'm really apologetic for the delay in getting this chapter up, for my examinations were just around the corner when I wrote the second chapter. Yeah, in case you're wondering, my results weren't too good for the End Of Year examinations...that'll mean that I have to work so much harder next year for my Olevels…To repay all of you for waiting so long, I wrote three-quarters of the chapter in a day… It's not very long but I hope that it might solve one or two little questions…

Ok, to pay credit where it's due, many many many thanks to my beloved beta reader Yuet ping! Man, you're the best, sis! And to all who've given me comments on how to improve on my writing (esp. to Shu May), a big thank you! I really appreciate it…

To my wonderful reviewers, really thank you for sticking through all my detested examinations and stuff to reach the third chapter! 

d33p-s0rr0w: thanks for the compliment :) 

Angel Starcalistas: thanks! Actually I wish I ad the imagination of my brothers, their stories and pictures are way better than mine…more mature for one…haha, thanks!

Suppis Tenshi: omigod! Thank you ever so much for adding me on your favourites list! Never though I'll see the day when anyone would like my stories so much! Thanks! Your comments were extremely helpful and encouraging…thanks!

Oh and the answer to your question "Why the heck won't Sakura remember who everyone is?"… It was because she had missed all of them so much and kept her memories aside/ hidden after they had all split up. Sort of like the way she hid the memories of her mother's death to avoid thinking about it…I do hope that that answers your question…So sorry that I can't explain it better…can't answer the other questions yet…still thinking about how to weave it into the story…

Candian-cherryblossom: I'm sorry that I couldn't get the chapter up so quickly…hope you like this chapter!

Thank you all so much for reading this and I do hope that you will like this chapter! Pls review :) thanks!


	4. chapter 4 :Conference

Chapter 4 : Conference

"First of all, I would like to thank all of you for coming at such an early hour. In case some of you are not aware, I am Syaoran Li, the heir to the Li family in China, which speaks for all the major trade organisations in China in inter-national diplomatic affairs. My main purpose for requesting the presence of all present here is to discuss the future trade agreements between China and Japan, and I hope to reach an agreements by the end of this week, as I have pressing business to attend to back in China. Thank you for your kind understanding and I look forward to working closely with all present here today. "

Syaoran sat down, inwardly heaving a sigh. It was such a great morning, and here he was, wasting it by discussing trade matters in this stuffy room. But he would do what he must. Resigning himself to fate, he looked forward determinedly as the king began opening the subject of inter-national trade relations and its possibilities.

Eriol sat beside his father, duty compelling him to sit in on the discussions…He looked in Syaoran's direction, inwardly sighing. Yes, they had talked about many things last night…But he couldn't help but feel a wistful feeling that he was no longer the Syaoran he knew…More like a stranger who knew about Eriol's past…He brusquely turned his mind away from such issues. Now was not the time to think about this.

Sitting further down the table, Fujitaka gave a start when he heard Syaoran's name. Was this really the little boy who used to play at their house? He could hardly recognise him. It was as if he had never known him in his younger days…

Yelan…your son has indeed grown up to be a fine young man…When will you find it in your heart to forgive what I've done so many years ago? It's been so many years…Too many…"

Musing silently to himself, he turned his attention back to the meeting…there was much work to be done.

---In the corridor----------

(sakura)

They were in the palace again. Her father had to attend a very important meeting, and for some reason the king extended an invitation to Sakura and Tomoyo if they would like to visit the palace. This was a very rare privilege granted to few…so of course they could not refuse.

She skipped along the palace corridor laughing and talked to Tomoyo at length about the beauty of the palace grounds, her eyes alight with fascination. She was dressed in a light pink dress, one that her father had brought her recently. A red ribbon adorned her auburn hair, sweeping her hair into a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck. Her neck was adorned with a simple heart-shaped necklace that her mother had left her, one of the few momentos Sakura had to remember her by. Tomoyo was wearing a light blue dress with a dark blue sash, its free ends tied neatly in a small bow behind her back and left to sweep behind her as she walked. Her hair was clasped with a simple pin and her dark curls ran down the length of her back, nearly reaching mid-waist.

"Tomoyo, how did I get home last night? I remember thinking of a lot of things…and then I saw you. It was all seems so weird now…as if you were just a memory…Oh, and Tomoyo, how did you know what Eriol was going to say? Did you know who he was?"

Tomoyo smiled gently at Sakura's endless barrage of questions, and shaking her head lightly, she grinned. This was the Sakura from old.

" Sakura, slow down…I can't answer all of them at once! Well, for the first question, I asked the carriage to bring both of us to your house. After all, the courtyard wasn't such a great distance from the front porch…As for the second question…"

Tomoyo's smile dimmed a little…

"Don't you remember?"

"I...I…"

She did remember. She had been there when he first said it to her after all. But it seemed like such a long time ago…and thinking back to that memory always brought back the same image, that of his back facing them as he rode away from them…forever gone. Until now.

"Tomoyo…I've always felt that I've known him for a long, long time…I…"

Sakura's steps faltered before coming to a stop. Her head bowed slightly, she hesitated.

Tomoyo looked askance at Sakura, noticing her sudden change in mood, but keeping quiet.

" Every time I think of the times we had…I would always see the image of their backs being taken away from me. It…it hurt so much, Tomoyo. It always seemed to drive home the point that whatever, whoever I treasured would one day… one day be taken away from me… Like my mother, like my brother who was called up for the army…like the two of them, even like my father, who distanced himself away from me during that period of time. I didn't want to live in pain any longer. So I guess…I kept those memories at bay, locked them away so that I'd never see them again. Because I felt that I would never see them again, so what…what was the point of living my days pining away for those memories that would never….never ever come again…? Sometimes I wish that...perhaps...we could all be together again...but it wouldn't be the same...and it was an impossible wish at best...but still...the truth hurts..."

Sakura's wavering voice dissipated into silence. Tomoyo, sensing her distress, placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered softly.

"But you still dreamt about them, didn't you? The recurring dream of an auburn haired boy on a horse...that was Syaoran, wasn't it? And you recognised Eriol instinctively…didn't you? "

"Eriol brought back so many memories…And I was afraid, perhaps unconsciously, that if I believed that it was him…he would disappear from my life again… And Syaoran too…I thought I felt his presence at the shrine…but… I keep catching little glimpses of him in the things I keep, like in my pins he used to find for me, or looking up at the Sakura tree in the compound… even though it was a different one from the one he used to sit in. They all brought back his presence, and along with it, the painful knowledge that I'd never see him again if his mother has her way… "

Tomoyo opened her mouth as if to speak, but decided against it. Sakura would have to find out for herself.

A sudden flurry of activity bustled behind them and they turned around, their thoughts cut off by the sound of breathless whispers. Sakura hurriedly wiped her damp eyes and looked about for the source of the disturbance. A lady-in-waiting, who had just turned the corner, was conversing hurriedly with the guard on sentry duty, as well as with a passing maid whose hands were filled with a basket of apples from the garden.

"Please, send for the doctors! Her majesty's health is at stake here! We must hurry! And…and her majesty asks to see his majesty and his highness…please, go! We don't have much time!"

The frightened maid scurried away to find the court physicians while the guard took off at a run to inform the king and the crown prince. The lady-in-waiting, her face pasty white, turned around abruptly and was about to leave when Sakura spoke up.

"Er…excuse me, but could you please tell what is going on?"

The lady-in-waiting whirled around, her eyes startled before dropping into a curtsy. "I'm sorry, my lady, I did not see the both of you…her majesty has taken a turn for the worst…and…"

"I'm coming along with you."

"and…what? Oh, I'm sorry my lady, but…"

"Bring me to see her…please. I know a little of the healing arts, I hope I can be of help."

Surprised, Tomoyo looked at her friend's determined face and understood. Sakura's face was pale and looked grimly set. Sakura had once confided in her that she had chosen to take up the art of healing so that no one would ever suffer again like her mother did, not as long as she could help it. Although the healing arts were considered below nobility, but she had been adamant on learning, and her father had given in.

They set off for the royal apartments at a brisk pace.

------At the state hall----------

(eriol)

They were discussing the details of the trade agreement when a flustered guard ran up to the king and whispered a few urgent words in his ear. Almost at once, Eriol noticed the ghostly pallor that settled over his face and a stricken look which passed over his face briefly before he regained his composure. Fearing the worst, Eriol clenched his jaw and prepared for the news. He had learnt to read his father's emotions since a long time ago. General assemblies were not interrupted except in times of urgent situations. Having a hurried conversation with his adviser, the king rose and spoke to the assemblage.

" I'm afraid that I have some pressing business to attend to immediately, so I hope that all of us can take the time to think over the issues raised today. We shall assemble anon to talk more of this business. Court adjoined."

The nobles, though surprised by this turn of events, rose to their feet as one and dipped polite bows in the king's direction before leaving the hall. Once in the corridor, they converged in small groups to talk among themselves in hushed whispers about the turn of events.

"Lord Fujitaka? Could you please join us?"

Without a further word, the king swept down the corridors with the prince and lord Fujitaka in tow. Eriol caught sight of Syaoran's worried face and beckoned for him to follow, before starting at a brisk pace after his father, his face grim and half afraid with worry.

Please…let it not be what I think it is…

-----At the barracks training grounds------

Something tugged inside of him, prompting him to stop his training routine and look around. Something important was amiss…there was something that charged the atmosphere in a state of tension…the hurried steps of the servants, the frantic whispering…Something was going on.

He felt this growing worry settling in his chest, a emotion that he recognised as not entirely his own. She had to be close. The tension and fear mounted, and almost subconsciously, his muscles tensed.

He had to know. This feeling of dread…it was so familiar. The royal apartments…yes, that was where she was heading for. He could feel it in his entire being. And she was afraid. That was all he needed to know. He started running for the royal apartments.

---------end of chapter 4-------------------------

Ok...I'm really sorry for this rather short and abrupt chapter , this chapter is way overdue…and I think it created more questions than answers, but all will be revealed in it's own time. :D

I'm really very very apologetic for the very long delay…I've been having some problems trying to get this story up, so my sincerest apologies… I really hope to post the next chapter soon before my upcoming examinations (I'm always having examinations…sigh) Once again, many many thanks to all my reviewers and my wonderful beta editor Yuet Ping :p you've been a great help really

to all who read the story, I would really like to extend my gratitude for staying with me all the way to this chapterand believe me, I really hope to be able to post the next chapter up soon (I'm halfway through) and I never start fics I don't plan to finish(no matter how long it takes) so please bear with it for the moment..because it's my examination period now so I'm kind of rushed for time, so there'll be a long time lapse between this and the next few chapters...(or perhaps I'd be able to squeeze in another chap before my exams..we'd see..)

I also hope to clear up the little discrepancies in the story as soon as possible, but please bear with it for the moment…

So anyway...please enjoy and review…I would really really appreciate it, thanks


	5. chapter 5: Release

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Cardcaptor Sakura (no matter how much I want to) and the additional characters are my own creations.

Some of the characters portrayed may be out of character.

Chapter 5: Release

The room was huge. Its rich furnishings were nicely set off by the numerous vases placed carefully around the room, the scent of roses and orchids permeating every corner of the room. The windows were opened fully to allow the cool crisp air of morning to enter, and the sunlight made everything seem so bright, casting shadows which seem to outline the objects more distinctly. The heavy drapes around her bed were pulled back, leaving only the faint transparent layer to fall down gently around the sides, as if shrouding her in a misty haze.

She sighed. Looking around at the sun-flooded room, she chose a rose from a vase next to her bed and slowly held it up to her nose, her hands trembling slightly. He always used to give her flowers. Going into a sudden bout of coughing, she tried to stifle it with a handkerchief. When she took the handkerchief away from her mouth, she wasn't too surprised when she saw the blood on it. She knew that she didn't have much time left. All this pain…it would all go away soon. All she wanted to do was to set her things in order, that was why she had asked for her husband and son to see her. She would hang on until then. She drifted off into an uneasy sleep, the familiar dream swirling her under again.

------Flashback--------------

Oh god, please, not this. Anything but this.

"Miyuki, I'm serious. I want you to break up with Fujitaka immediately. The consequences for all of us are dire if you don't marry the prince. Don't you understand? Our family's honour will be tarnished, years of honourable history besmirched, and not only that, all of us could be banished. I hope you understand, Miyuki. This is for everyone's own good."

He turned away from her, not wanting to let her see the tears standing in his eyes. He knew she loved Fujitaka dearly, and he fully approved her choice. He had promised her hand in marriage to him, after all. But for the sake of everyone in the household, they could not afford to turn down the prince's request for her hand in marriage. He had to do this.

She wanted to scream. For everyone's own good, but not for her and Fujitaka. It was futile to rebel, but…but they had been engaged! It had been so long…Ordinarily, it would have been an honour of the greatest kind to be favoured with the prince's attention. But for her, it was torture. The prince probably didn't even know that she was engaged, it wasn't his fault…Yet she hated him. Hated him for unknowingly tearing up her life. The king had most likely kept the information that she was engaged a secret from the prince, because from their last meeting, the prince was unaware of that very fact.

"Father, at least…grant me this last visit. Let me tell him personally. It would mean…a lot to me. Please.

"Alright…"

--------

He waited below the Sakura tree patiently, his hands idly fiddling with a bouquet of red roses. He knew that these were her favourite and had specially bought them for her. His white suit was simple but elegant, and was expressly used for informal activities. His dark eyes peered seriously around him as he tried, without success, to smoothen his hair which had been tousled in the wind. An hour. She was usually very punctual, but yet it had already been an hour and he was getting worried. Perhaps he had better look for her.

He had barely started walking when he caught sight of her slight frame in the distance. Her light green dress swirled around her ankles as she walked towards him, her eyes downcast. Her usual lively spark had totally gone from her eyes to be replaced by unseeing, glassy eyes, which unnerved him greatly. Even at this distance, her tense posture and expression told him that something was seriously wrong. Her handmaiden walked primly beside her, holding out the umbrella to shield her from the sun, and she had a coat slung over her free hand in case her lady should feel cold. Watching this little procession, he felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of cold water. What was wrong?

He hurried up to her and stood before her, his demeanour showing his concern for her.

"Are…are you quite alright, my lady…?"

His voice struggled to remain calm and he had to force himself to be formal in the presence of the handmaiden, who was looking at him with a look of pity. In a voice so soft that it could hardly be heard, she told her handmaiden to leave them alone for a while. The petite girl bowed slightly and retreated a few paces, allowing her to speak privately with him while being close enough to be at her service at the first notice.

"Miyuki, what's the matter?

"Are you alright? You don't look so well…Are you sure you wouldn't like to rest, Miyuki? Dear gods, you're crying! Is it something I've done? I…" He was in a state of agitation now. She only cried harder upon hearing his words and he was really at a loss for what to do.

"No, Fujitaka…it's not your fault. It's just that I…My father…My father wants me to stop seeing you…"

"But…"

"No, please listen to me. I...My father got a request from the prince for my hand in marriage. He tried to explain that I was already engaged, but the King…I'm sorry, Fujitaka."

She dissolved into tearing sobs that seared his heart again. A request from the royal family for her hand. He understood the consequences that the whole family would have to bear if she did not obey. She might have to live a life of a vagabond, implicating her whole family as well, despised by others in this traditional society. Being cast out was regarded as one of the most shameful thing ever to happen, and people looked down on those who rebelled against the tradition. He could not ask that of her. It tore him up to make this decision, but he knew what had to be done. There was only one decision that could be made, but he hated himself for choosing it. He wanted to be selfish and ask her not to leave him…And hated himself for harbouring such thoughts.

" Miyuki…I understand. I…just remember that I always loved you and you'll always be in my heart. I er…got to go. Oh, and these flowers are for you. And may you be happy."

He thrust the red roses into her hands and turned to walk away, not bearing to see her cry any more. Any more and he would take her back into his arms and beg her not to leave him.

"I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, Miyuki."

And as he walked away, he heard a soft whisper amidst the sobs that rend his heart so.

"I love you too…I'm sorry."

He concentrated on walking away, putting his steps one in front of another. Who would believe that what had been built up over so long…could be broken in a matter of seconds. It was so abrupt…he had hardly time to fully register anything.

It was over. Their engagement, their years together…It was all over.

------back to the present----------------

She woke up at the sound of a gentle knock. She tried to sit up properly but her arms could not fully aid her up. Even that slight exertion left her arms trembling and sent her into another bout of dry coughs. Outside, the handmaiden heard her mistress cough and hurried into the room, pouring a glass of water for her lady.

She looked up, her attention caught by a youth girl who had entered the room and was now fixing her with a worried look. My god…She looked the splitting image of someone she knew once a long time ago. But hadn't she...hadn't she died? She was so distracted that she didn't even notice Sakura bob her a little curtsy, her wide eyes fixing themselves on Sakura as she hurried to her bedside.

"Nadeis..ko…?"

Sakura, who was busy trying to take her majesty's pulse, froze. Her wide, disbelieving eyes looked up at her majesty's, and an unbidden question just came out of her mouth.

"Your majesty…you knew my..mother?"

"Your mother? Oh, I see…yes…I knew her. You must be Sakura Kinomoto then…?"

"Ye..Yes."

She could hardly believe it. Fujitaka's daughter, looking just like she had imagined her to be. Her agitation caused her to cough yet again, her hand in Sakura's trembling all the more.

Sakura's eyes widened. No…This looked like…The suspicion grew as she noted the usual symptoms of the illness…It had to be. The very same illness that had plagued her mother.

"Please, get me the herbs on this list and prepare them immediately", she frantically scribbled a list of herbs she needed and a complex set of instructions, "and some cold water and a cloth. Please hurry!" She turned her attention back to the queen, trying to evaluate how far her illness had gone. No, don't let her die. She had to save her.

" I'd go with you. I know how to prepare some of these herbs." All unnoticed, Tomoyo followed the handmaiden out the door. Occasionally giving her cousin a hand in some of her treatments, she knew the rudimentary techniques of preparing the herbs.

It was then that his majesty and the prince entered the room. The both of them immediately rushed to her bedside, hardly giving Sakura a second glance. Lord Fujitaka and Syaoran both hung back at the doorway, unsure of what to expect, when they finally saw the queen with Sakura kneeling by her side. Lord Fujitaka hung back, aching so much to see if Miyu-…no, if the queen was alright, but he feared that his very presence might cause her pain. It would be better for her…not to see him. But he needed to stay, as if some compulsion had taken hold of him. He wanted to be there for her at the end…even if she did not know it. Syaoran backed into an unobtrusive corner and stayed, his need not to be seen by Sakura outweighing his concern for the queen. There wasn't anything he could do; yet something made him stay in this room too.

She looked up from Sakura's face to see both her husband and her son standing there by her other side, and gave them both a wan smile.

" Eriol? Nakajima? I…I might not be able to hang on for very much longer…I'm so sorry. I just wanted…to see the both of you again…" Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Yes, they were her life. Her son which she loved so dearly, and her husband. She had resented him at first, and though she did not love him…She had grown to depend on him as a very valuable friend and companion. He had understood that she could not love him and was content with simply being able to be with her, and she valued that trust.

"Eriol…just remember that no matter decision you make, you must choose the one which is best for everyone. Perhaps you or others may be upset or regret after making the decision… but as long as you know that the decision is the right one…Everything will turn out alright at the end…Be happy Eriol…"

"Mother…" He tried to stifle his tears but could not stop them from flowing out. No, this couldn't be happening…

"The doctors…they will…" But even as he said it he knew that it was impossible.

"Nakajima…thank you for being so understanding all these years…" Another tear slipped out of the corner of her eyes. " and for loving me. It has brought me more joy than you could have imagined…and I cherish the times I spent with you. Thank you…" Saying, she reached out a trembling hand and picked out a branch of orchids from her bedside. Pressing the branch into her husband's hands, she smiled...

The king stood there, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, as he looked upon the love of his life slowly slipping away right in front of his eyes. He could not cry. Not yet. It was as if his mind could not register the fact of her laying there so still before him, labouring to breathe every step of the way…He closed his eyes, a single tear leakedout of the corner of his eye. And remembered the times they had together. That was the person he had known…and it was the only gift he could give her now, to let her know that he would remember her for all time. His hands, clutched around the branch were white and trembling.

She coughed once more, violent spasms shaking her body as Sakura frantically tried to settle her. But without her herbs she could do little but watch her and pray. Her bout of coughing passed, but her breathing remained laboured…the hoarse sound of breathing filled the room, the unsteady sound joining with the crying sounds of Eriol forming a discordant harmony.

"Miyuki…"

She looked up once more…and saw Nadeisko. She was in a white dress and looked just as benevolent as when they had last met. Her long hair gently framed her face, her amber eyes gazing gently into her own, understanding.

"It's time to let go, Miyuki. It's finally time…"

She unconsciously relaxed. She was so tired…

"No…please, hold on. Please!"

A new voice joined that of her pleading son, and she turned to smile at the horror stricken face of Sakura. Sakura's hands clutched at hers protectively, as if knowing intuitively that she was going to leave them, Sakura's eyes looking straight into her own tired ones, yet she could see that the young girl was trying to deny the truth to herself. She smiled, trying to bring the words forth despite the pain she was feeling.

"It's time for me to let go…It's useless to fight it any longer. I am content."

Tears were flowing down Sakura's face, yet she seemed not aware of the fact. Her eyes still lost in the memory, she seemed once again, the little child sitting by her mother's bedside. "No…please don't leave me again…please…"

She closed her eyes…and let herself relax. In her mind's eyes, she reached out her hand to Nadeisko's, their hands touching together…a comforting light enveloped her…and she knew no more…

"The herbs are here!" The handmaiden burst in along with Tomoyo and the rest of the court physicians…and stood looking at the scene before them. The head physician bowed his head and approached the bed, looking for all the world like the old man he was…and reached out and closed her eyes. They were too late. They bowed and filed out of the room solemnly. There was no need for words.

Sakura remained kneeling by the side of the bed, her eyes unseeing. Transported back to that time when _she_ had been there…laying there peacefully in the same position…Her lifeless hand clutched in her little fist, as she cried and begged her mother to wake up, to open her eyes once more…

The sound of Eriol's keening filled the room. Lord Fujitaka turned and walked out of the room, his tired frame clutching a single red rose unconsciously from one of the vases. His face remained in the shadows…not letting anyone read anything from his face. It was with some regret that he realised that this chapter of his life was closed forever…and that that same illness that had clamied Nadeisko's life had claimed Miyuki's as well. Syaoran was about to leave after him when he saw someone enter the room that made him stop in his footsteps.

He entered the room, his instincts telling him that something momentous had happened. Dressed in the soldier's training gear, he looked frantically around the room, as if searching for someone. He looked up as a man approached the doorway where he was standing, and his eyes widened.

"Toya...?" Fujitaka's shoulders just seemed to droop, but his voice was warm despite the tired tone belying his words.

"Yes, father. I'm back…How's Sakura? I felt her, she seemed in so much pain…"

"Go to her, child. She needs you more than ever now…"

Fujitaka merely bowed his head after saying these words and pointing to the bedside, and left the room.

Touya looked at his father's stooped frame and understood his need to be alone. He rushed to Sakura and enfolded her in a hug, oblivious to anything happening around him except her. The pain in his chest was unbearable.

"Hush…it's alright Sakura…it's alright…I'm here…"

Sakura turned her glassy eyes to stare up at him, and suddenly seemed to collapse out of her rigid state. She dissolved into tears and encircled her arms around him, seeking comfort in his embrace.

"I let her die, onii-chan…I let her die again…"

---------to be continued------------------------

I'm so sorry that I couldn't fully bring out the scene that I had in mind when writing this chapter, I just couldn't find the words for what I wanted to express…Hope that this little chapter of Miyuki's life could be rounded off to a finish now… Was pretty melancholic when I saw the scene play out in my mind…

Many thanks to all who read and reviewed the story thus far...it was your support that made me continue to write this story…and to yuet ping, many many thanksbest of luck in your exams

It may be a little while before I post the next chapter because of my exams again, two very major exams and another round of term examinations to go through which I'd have to work very hard for, so probably won't be able to write very much until then…


	6. Author's Note

Author's note:

Ok…I'm really so very sorry for the long delay…and that it's going to take an even longer time before I can post the next chapter.

It's just that my end of year exams are coming and it's going to determine whether I get into the school of my choice, so I really have to concentrate on my studies. The main problem is that I have to put this story on hiatus for at least 2 months, because the preliminaries are just 3 days away.

I really really appreciate all of you for following the story up till now. Rest assured that I will continue this story as soon as I can and I really hope for your patience. Thank you so much for your understanding.


	7. chapter 6: realisation

Chapter 6: Meetings

Note: The punctuation for thoughts and the like has also been changed somewhat as some of my other symbols cannot be published.

"Hush…it's alright Sakura…it's alright…I'm here…"

Sakura turned her glassy eyes to stare up at him, and suddenly seemed to collapse out of her rigid state. She dissolved into tears and encircled her arms around him, seeking comfort in his embrace.

"I let her die, onii-chan…I let her die again…"

-------------End of previous chapter---------

He held her sobbing form gently in his arms, soothing her under his breath, muttering words that did not make much sense. But he knew they had a calming effect on her, and that was enough. The throbbing in his chest coiled and expanded, and he stifled his own response to the emotion, knowing that she could feel his distress.

Sensing a movement behind him, he shifted his head slightly towards the door. That was when he saw that chestnut haired boy looking at him… no, at the sobbing form of his sister, from the doorway, and they glared at each other.

--What are you doing here!? Stay away from my sister, or else… --

He let his hostility show in his eyes, letting the boy know that his presence here in the same room as his sister was definitely not welcome.

--None of your business. I won't bother either of you.--

With a flat glare, Syaoran swept out of the room.

He snorted slightly under his breath and looked straight at Tomoyo. He had been aware of her presence all along, for she was never far from Sakura. This was something which he was profoundly grateful for, for Sakura took great comfort in her presence. Looking straight at her, he flicked his eyes briefly towards his sister, while keeping up a low continuous stream of soothing words to calm Sakura. Tomoyo caught his meaning and came towards them, covering up her surprise at his appearance. The questions could come later, Sakura was more important.

"Sakura…hush, we're all here for you…Please, let's leave this room and let the prince and the king have their privacy…Sakura…"

(Sakura)

Sakura lifted her red, puffy eyes towards her, before looking around slowly. Seeing the two dismal forms of the royal family standing vigil at the bedside, her eyes brimmed over again. Looking away, she allowed herself to be led away by both her brother and cousin.

--I'm sorry…I was unable to do anything…--

It wasafter she had walkedout the doorthat she suddenly realised just who it was that she had seen at the bedside. No, it could not be…but she could not be mistaken. She half turned around, her eyes searching, throwing a disbelieving look right at the bedside. Right at Eriol's tear-stricken, despairing face.

"Tomoyo…is that…"

Her face turned even whiter than before, and her emerald eyes pierced Tomoyo's heart as Tomoyo saw the look of horror in her frail cousin's eyes.

"Sakura, Eriol…is the prince…Sakura, look at me, it's not your fault, Sakura!"

The last was said in a terrified shriek as Sakura sank down to the floor, her legs unable to hold her. Touya immediately held his sister and tried to shake her out of her reverie, calling her name in a frantic voice, to no avail. She seemed to hear a roaring in her ears and couldn't hear anything…Her mind threw half-formed thoughts at her, and the whirling thoughts only intensified her disorientation.

--Eriol was the prince? But…but…It wasn't possible...--

"I'm always living in the shadow of my family. Sometimes I wish that people would see me for who I am, instead of only being the son of my father and mother…"

She started, her mind suddenly understanding those words that Eriol had once told her a very long time ago. They had been children then, and Eriol had been very upset. She had comforted him as best as she could and led him off to play, but had never realised the significance of his words, until today.

--No…Please tell me it isn't true…that I had only been able to watch on and see your mother die without being able to help…--

She vaguely remembered his mother's smile and the way she always smelled of flowers. Her face in her young memory was sketch at best, but it did resemble her majesty, only that she hadn't realised it previously in her haste.

She saw her mother again, laying on the bed whispering words that she couldn't quite hear…Her Majesty's image seemed superimposed onto that image, and the both of them looked at her straight into her eyes.

-- Sakura…let it go…--

She could barely make out the indistinct words, but all she noticed was the light that surrounded them, the realisation that they were leaving. She could hear her heartbeat throbbing inside the whole of her body, every beat resounding inside her as she fought against the knowledge, as she fought against everything that was happening to her.

--No! Don't go, please!--

She half reached out her hand, and Tomoyo caught it, sensing her cousin's distress yet begging her to come back.

--It hurts…Sakura, please…come back…--

She heard her brother's pained voice as if from a very far away place, the sound slowly permeating her conscience. She concentrated on that voice, trying to make coherent sense of the things happening around her.

--Ni-chan….?--

Behind her eyelids, she saw a white light fill her vision…and she knew no more.

(Touya)

He felt the tension building up inside him, a pain that sucked his breath away and left him breathless. He could hear his blood pounding inside his ears, and he tried frantically to reach out to his sister.

--It hurts…Sakura, please…come back…--

For a moment the pain lessened a little, before suddenly the pain lifted with such blinding speed that it made him look down sharply at his sister in alarm, only to feel her become frightening limp in his arms. He looked worriedly at her pale form and frowned, half sick with worry. Lifting her easily in his arms, he followed a very upset Tomoyo to the courtyard to hail a carriage to take her back home. Leaving Sakura in Tomoyo's care, Touya walked back slowly to his training grounds, his gray eyes clouded with troubled thoughts.

Walking towards the very place he had ran out from, he braced himself for the reprimands and punishments he would receive for leaving during the training session.

------------------------------(Eriol's room)------------------

It could not be. She had been just there talking to him, holding his hand one moment…and the very next she was gone. It was just so sudden. It felt as if his world had suddenly crashed down on him, such that he didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He had listened hollowly to the physician's grave announcement to the assemblage that she was no longer with them, and watched them leave with their black hoods drawn. He could feel the assemblage's silence and sorrow, for the queen had been well loved. But it did not matter. It was as if nothing mattered now. She was gone. And she would never come back.

He had so many unfinished words to say, so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to tell her of the many things he'd done and seen, of the many things he had learnt…but most of all, he hadn't the chance to tell her…that he loved her. And she was gone. She would never smile at him with that same happy smile. Greet him tenderly and listen to him as he told her fascinating stories about the time he spent abroad studying. Do the many things like help him adjust his tie, knit a woolen scarf for use in the winter, be there with him, for him…

His father was inconsolable. He had sunk into such a state of despair that Eriol feared that he would never recover from such a heavy blow. Whenever they talked, the raw pain and tremble in his voice only added to Eriol's inner tumult. All he could feel was his father slowly retreating from him into his own private world, and he could not bring him out of his lethargy.

"I wish to appoint Eriol as my regent to take over the throne…"

Those words seemed like the very pronouncement of doom, every word striking him as if it were a blow. It was all so sudden, everything was simply happening too fast! He wasn't ready for the throne, he didn't know the first thing about becoming a ruler! He felt like a caged bird, desperately trying to fly out of it's lonely confinement to freedom, but the bars of duty could not be broken. There was no one he could say anything to now, they wouldn't be able to understand.

"The negotiations with China must go on. The country must carry on even in the wake of her death, it cannot come to a standstill…I'm just too tired now…I believe in you, Eriol…"

He tried to get out from the weight behind his words, although he knew that he couldn't. He did not have a choice. But didn't he expect this all along, that he would never have the freedom to choose his own path? The ministers pledged their support, the people understood why the decision had to be made, and he had had no other option other than to agree. It was to be for the better of everyone. Such is the duty of the heir. Such is **his** duty.

--Every time someone calls my name, they always expect something from me. It's all so overwhelming having to bear the weight of everyone's expectations. Sometimes, I just cannot do everything…yet I must..--

He buried his head in his arms, his shoulders shaking ever so slightly while he sat in the darkness of his own rooms.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hee, sorry for the very long hiatus I was sorting out a few stuff after the examinations and didn't have time to complete this, I'm really so sorry. I know that it's a short chapter but I hope it clears up a few things, while other things I'd have to answer as I go along in the story. This story isn't really going as fast as I would have liked, but some questions have to be answered regarding the situation so as to better flesh out the plot in the later part of the story. Many thanks especially to you, Honey Mocha Citrus, for your questions :D

If you must know, Nadeisko and Miyuki did not know each other before their respective marriages, but become fairly good friends after meeting each other. Miyuki doesn't feel any animosity towards Nadeisko for marrying Fujitaka, but still feels a little regret over the unfortunate turn of events.. And as for touya at the palace, hee, I'm going to put that question on hold as it's going to be part of the plot :p hope you don't mind

To all who have reviewed, thank you so much for all the encouragement and understanding these past 2 months I'd try to update as soon as I can..and pardon me for not answering individual reviews as I would rather spend the time writing the next chapter so that all of you don't have to be kept waiting ;p

Reviews are much appreciated :D


	8. not a chapter

Sigh, I'm really sorry to be doing this to my readers…this story has been sitting here un-updated for a very long time, about 3 years to be exact, and ever since my old computer broke down (with all the backup copies of the story along with the following chapters with it), I've kind of lost the motivation to continue the story. This is highly irresponsible of me and I know this will break my promise of finishing this story, and I sincerely apologise to all readers.

If you have been following this story for so long, thank you so very much and I truly am sorry, it's been a really long journey and well, somehow it's really hard to pick up the thread of the story again. Maybe some very distant time in the unforeseeable future I could take up writing again, but frankly, I can't imagine it.

Would like to take this chance to thank all the people who have reviewed and would like to know that you all have been a great inspiration to me during those years when I was writing. Thank you.


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